Summary: baekhyun isn't the light that blinds him with his beauty. however, he is the man that twists at his heart with his mere existence.
a/n: for sobsthefeels because i promised her other fics that i already know i have no hope in finishing orz
but i've got a plan
why don't you be the artist
and make me out of clay?
why don't you be the writer
and decide the words i say?
'cause i'd rather pretend
i'll still be there at the end
only it's too hard to ask
won't you try to help me?
-ellie goulding; the writer
Sometimes, Chanyeol thinks as he stares lazily up into the sky, I believe I'd never speak a word again if you'd just say to me what I've been wanting to say for the past five years. He glances over when he feels the figure beside him shift. Now turned on his side, Baekhyun's shoulder blocks the sun from Chanyeol's eyes. He's no longer squinting to see. He's no longer blinded by the light that he'd thought might as well have been radiating from Baekhyun himself. The stupid thing is he's not even disappointed to find a normal guy with skinny arms and legs and pretty hair lying on the grass beside him. Baekhyun isn't the light that blinds him with his beauty. However, he is the man that twists at his heart with his mere existence.
"Baekhyun," Chanyeol whispers, his voice low and beckoning. He inhales deeply when Baekhyun turns to face him, but all he gets from it is the sigh that leaves Baekhyun's lips, smelling of peppermint and lemons.
"What?" The elder mumbles, eyes still closed, cheek buried in the soft blades of grass. He yawns for emphasis and Chanyeol knows when to shut up. To be frank though, It's always time for Chanyeol to shut up. So he doesn't answer, because Baekhyun isn't looking for an answer anyway. Chanyeol takes another whiff and a smile stretches across his face at Baekhyun's scent. That's all he allows himself for now since Baekhyun isn't looking for him to do anything more. Baekhyun isn't looking for anything. Chanyeol just likes to pretend that it's because there's nothing that Baekhyun needs to look for that isn't already right in front of him.
Chanyeol thinks being Baekhyun's metaphorical puppet is enough. But he knows deep down inside that a timer has already gone off and with each passing second, Chanyeol is one step closer to disappearing. For now though, he tells himself as he opens his mouth and waits for Baekhyun to feed him. Baekhyun just laughs and tosses the popcorn into his own mouth. For now it's enough. It's enough to let Baekhyun shape Chanyeol into what he wants him to be. It's enough to be molded into Baekhyun's life however he needs because maybe that'll bring Chanyeol closer to Baekhyun's peppermint lips. It's enough for Chanyeol to say what Baekhyun wants to hear and nothing more. Or at least that's what Chanyeol tells himself every morning when he wakes knowing Baekhyun's head is at most a foot away from his own. The only thing he leaves out is that there is a wall separating them.
Maybe one day, there will be no more walls between them. Maybe, Chanyeol thinks as snatches up Baekhyun's lemonade and presses his lips to where Baekhyun's were just moments ago, one day Baekhyun would notice and want just as much as Chanyeol does. He pouts when Baekhyun flicks his forehead and takes the cup back. He prays that Baekhyun can see that it is not taking the lemonade away that upsets him but the only path he has to Baekhyun's sweet, sweet lips that does. The latter simply grins smugly and brings the glass to his lips. Chanyeol feels his breath catch when that precious mouth meets Chanyeol's on the cup.
Charades isn't Chanyeol's best game. His limbs are too long and lanky and he gets too excited by the pressure of time. Baekhyun though, Baekhyun is creative, quick-witted and he's the one that's good at the game. Jongdae and Kyungsoo are up. They're on one team while Baekhyun and Chanyeol are on the other. The pair is comedic together and Chanyeol finds himself laughing at the expression on Kyungsoo's face. It takes them a while but Kyungsoo eventually guesses the Hulk and Baekhyun and Chanyeol are up. Chanyeol weighs the pros and cons of not having to be the one acting out whatever it is Baekhyun has to act out. Chanyeol is bad at it so he's glad for it to be Baekhyun's turn. But the stupid springs on Chanyeol's side of the couch are broken and his butt is slanted into the cushion. He hates uncomfortable things.
Chanyeol guesses eyeliner immediately and Baekhyun tosses his head back in victorious laughter while Jongdae complains that it's unfair that Baekhyun got something that he's so familiar with. Chanyeol just sticks out his tongue. The teams switch again and Baekhyun is back on the couch beside Chanyeol. The broken springs are forgotten. Kyungsoo is, of course, doing something stupid which causes Chanyeol to burst out into loud laughter. He turns to smile at Baekhyun only to find he's turned away towards Jongdae. Of course he is, Chanyeol thinks, smile faltering as he turns back to face Kyungsoo. Chanyeol wishes that just one time, just one time, his best friend and him can share a special moment. He's starting to believe that perhaps things really aren’t meant to be since Baekhyun manages to miss every smile Chanyeol ever directs his way.
Kyungsoo makes eye contact with Chanyeol for a moment and flashes him a wink. The smile that was meant for Baekhyun goes to Kyungsoo instead.
What would Baekhyun want me to do? Chanyeol asks himself as he stares down at Kyungsoo's large and nervous eyes with his own wide ones. Chanyeol feels his own eyes begin to cast downward toward their feet. What would Baekhyun want me to do? Chanyeol watches as his feet move forward, inching closer to Kyungsoo's in incremental shuffles. What would Baekhyun do? He bites his lip and looks up from their feet and feels himself gasp at the closeness of Kyungsoo's face, despite being miles taller than the other. Something in Chanyeol breaks as he realizes what he's been hiding from since the start. Baekhyun would want him to lean in and take it all. Baekhyun would want him to love someone who loves him back. Baekhyun would want him to say yes. Baekhyun would congratulate him with a smile. A real smile. Baekhyun would be happy for him.
"Okay," Chanyeol breathes out, eyes darting nervously, mouth hanging slightly open with the remnants of his initial shock. He's surprised to find that his voice doesn't tremble with where his hands are shaking at the hem of his shirt. Kyungsoo takes that as an opportunity to reach up and take. All Chanyeol can think is that Kyungsoo tastes like everything but peppermint and lemonade.
For once in his life, Chanyeol is glad to find that he is wrong.
"Chanyeol," a sleepy voice mumbles from behind. The tall man feels his groan rumble through him and he sluggishly flips onto his back before turning onto his other side to face the origin of the voice.
"What?" He grumbles, not bothering to open his eyes. It is in that moment that he feels like this has happened some place, some time in the past before.
"Wake up, sleepy head." Hot peppermint flutters over the bridge of his nose and Chanyeol feels the grin spread on his features before he even realizes its happening. He opens one eye and finds Baekhyun blinking blearily at him, not even a foot but an inch away.
p.s.: i like happy endings.